Somer (somer) wrote,

Fic: How Dinosaurs Brought Them Orgasms (Jared/Jensen, NC-17, Crack)

Title: Trent, The Triceratops – Or How Dinosaurs Brought Them Orgasms
Authors: ashtraythief and somer
Wordcount: around 1.400 words
Warnings: CRACK, dildos, comment fic collaboration and ash telling ME to clean it up and post it – you have been warned (I mostly left it how it was, because I think it's funnier. Green is ash, red is me and the things I added later are kept in black)

It all started with the question ashtraythief asked. Is that guy in the second pic wearing dino underwear?

No, wait, that's not entirely true. It all started with me posting said gif (nsfw under the cut).

[nsfw]boxers (15).gif

You know what? Lets start at the beginning.

Everything started with big_heart_june posting filthy things for ashtraythief.

And then everything went kinda out of control.


Summary: Jensen is a total nerd, wearing dino underwear. Jared really likes it.

Jared is in love.

Ever since Jared saw Jensen on campus he’s wanted to ask him out. Wants to take him to the next Comic Con and exchange Star Wars quotes with him. Discuss 'Who would win? The Indominus Rex or the Tyrannosaurus Rex?'. He wants to ask Jensen if he too believes that the Dodo bird derived its name from the Dutch word dodaars which roughly translates as “knot-arse“.

And most of all he wants to take Jensen home.

But Jensen is always so serious, being pre-law and everything. So Jared is honestly kind of surprised Jensen was even into him, because Jared's that kind of physics major who debates the possibilities of beaming in his free time and cosplays as Chewbacca. So figuring out Jensen is secretely a dino nerd and can recite over a hundred names and tell you every little detail of what Jurrasic Park got wrong even though it's still an awesome movie, though seriously, Jared, it's obviously a Deinonychus, not a Velociraptor, they're much smaller and I get it, 'raptor' sounds way cooler, but seriously, and they totally could've included the feathers in the new movie -- well, Jared just has to kiss him.

Jensen's green eyes get huge when he feels Jared's lips on his. But as soon as his lips are free again Jensen licks them once, as if he wanted to taste and then he starts babbling again, getting more and more excited, telling Jared about Micropachycephalosaurus, the dinosaur with the longest name and Jared has to adjust his pants, because Jensen saying Micropachycephalosaurus like that nearly made him come in his pants.

Jensen sees Jared trying to adjust himself and he looks down and sees Jared's interested, can see the bulge in Jared's pants, and thinks it's because of the dinos and asks if Jared wants to see his dino collection and oh my god, Jared is so torn because he doesn't know if there is a real dino collection or not, but he'll go home with Jensen anyway.

Actually, he would follow Jensen anywhere, Jensen's mouth making him unbelievable hard, and Jensen talking about dinos is making him even harder. And Jared knows, Jensen showing him his dino collection will result in Jensen talking even more about dinos, those goddamn lips cradling words like they should cradling Jared's penis. Jared is sure, one way or another he will get lucky. Either Jensen will show him his collection and talk dirty to him or there isn't a collection and there hopefully will be some dirty talk anyway.

And Jensen? Jensen takes Jared home because he still thinks it's the dinos that make Jared hard.


half an hour later...

Jensen's boxers, full of little dinos are clutched in Jared's hands. He'd told Jensen to leave them on, wanted to suck Jensen off through the boxers, wetting all these tiny dinosaurs along with Jensen's balls. But after a few minutes of them rutting against each other, hard cocks rubbing together, Jensen had needed to get rid of them.

After Jensen had told Jared to get out of his boxers now (Geek note from ash: And now I'm thinking A Fish called Wanda, where...) Jensen just whispers dino names into Jared's ear while they're making out on the bed.

Jared tells him to shut is mouth, since he's this close to coming too soon.

Jensen tells him he doesn't mind, Jared would look so beautiful, coming apart just like that, and then Jensen will just get out his other dinos and have a little fun with them until Jared is ready to go again.

(somer runs over to BAD DRAGON to search for suitable dino dildos, ash says it should be done, because science, you know)

(meanwhile...) Jared's lying there, breathing hard, come covering his stomach and his pubes. And Jensen lies back on his bed, opening himself up, pink hole on display for Jared. Then he grabs Trent the Triceratops and he teases himself with it, moaning, his thighs trembling.

Trent is obviously Jensen's favorite, the one that makes him so hard and so needy, the one where it's so hard to hold back, but he really tries to, biting his lip, because he wants to put on a show for Jared. It's kind of difficult though, with Jared there, because that makes it even hotter, but thank god Jared does get his shit together.

Jared watches for a while, watches how Jensen's hole seems to suck that dildo right in, how Jensen moans so prettily every time Trent bottoms out, but soon he can't hold back anymore, he moves closer, watching transfixed.

"Can I, Jen, please? Can I touch?"

Jensen just mumbles something, because he's suddenly embarrassed with Jared so close to his hole. He tries to close his legs but Jared's huge bulk is holding them apart.

Jared looks up. Jensen has one arm thrown over his face, all Jared can see are his flushed ears and the blush crawling down his chest. But behind that arm Jensen is nodding wildly, giving Jared the permission he'd hoped for.

Jared grips the broad base of the Trent and it's not easy to concentrate, because Jensen's just so fucking pretty, all spread out on the bed, raising his hips and all those desperate little moans falling from his lips. Jared tries to take it slow, tease Jensen, but he's already so strung out and Jared really just wants to see Jensen come all over himself.

Jared speeds his thrusts up, changing the angle until he finds the right one, and Jensen screams. His feet keep slipping on the bed sheet and he desperately tries to push back against the Trent. Jared's other hand makes his way to Jensen's balls, gripping them in his huge hand, tugging on them lightly.

Soon Jensen's a sweaty begging mess and Jared can't wait to have him writhe on his own cock like that. He bends down, licks a stripe up Jensen's neck and then bites down. Jensen's back bows off the mattress and he's pleading with Jared, he just needs to come, so bad, "please, Jared, please-"

And Jared reaches down to take Jensen's dick in his hand, stroke him quick and sure and Jensen's eyes go wide and Jared could stare at him forever. It doesn't take long for Jensen to come all over Jared's fist and his own belly, to throw his head back and close his eyes in pleasure, to make the prettiest sound Jared ever heard.

Watching Jensen like this, seeing him coming apart on his favorite dino dildo is all Jared needs to get fully hard again, the head of his cock flushed a deep red, already dripping with precome. And he can't wait any longer. He rips the Trent out of Jensen's hole, making Jensen groan and his cock twitch, and he leans over Jensen. Jensen is beautiful, mouth open and lips bitten red, his eyes are closed, eyelashes lying on his rosy cheeks. Sweat is glistening on his forehead.

Jared leans down to lay a chaste kiss on Jensen's mouth, tracing the lower lip with his tongue. He pulls back and positions the head of his cock at Jensen's hole and pushes in with one hard thrust.

Jensen's eyes fly wide open and he grips Jared's biceps hard. "God, yeah, c'mon, fuck me."

Jared does, just thrusts into Jensen, over and over, burying himself in his tight, wet heat. Jensen's heels dig into his asscheeks and he keeps spurring him on, keeps telling him how good his dick feels, so much better than the Trent, so much hotter, and "oh fuck, right there, just please-"

Jared speeds his thrusts up, fucking into Jensen with brutal force, his sweaty bangs are hanging down, covering his face. He pushes Jensen up the bed and Jensen's hands fly to the headboard, trying to prevent his head from getting knocked into it.

"Fuck, fuck, Jensen, say it. Say its name! I'm so close!"

"Mic...Micro...Micropachycephalosaurus!" Jensen screams and he can feel Jared's muscles locking up, his cock shoved deep into Jensen's hole and then he's coming.


For everyone interested, I proudly present Trent, The Triceratops (nsfw under the cut).
Tags: ashtraythief and the dinos, crack, fic: how dinosaurs brought them orgasms, jared/jensen, nc-17
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